Tuesday, August 6, 2013

Angie and Her Irrational Fears

I was doing my dishes, which is something I really don't like to do, and it came to the part where I had to stick my hand down the garbage disposal to make sure none of the silverware thought that it would be fun to hide down there. As I was doing this I started to think about all my irrational fears, and boy to I have a lot of them. So I thought it would be fun to write a blog post about them and why I'm scared of some of the most pointless things. After I reread this I noticed that some of my fears might not be so irrational themselves, but the reasons the fear developed are the irrational part.

Please don't use this post against me in the future, because they are irrational fears I do act quite irrational when confronted with them, this includes screaming while looking for places to punch that will inflict the most pain. If you don't believe me just ask my husband how many times he has been slapped, punched, and kneed in his precious parts for thinking it would be funny to scare me. Its never pretty.

I'll start off simple.

Spiders. Now I'm sure you are thinking "A lot of people are scared of spiders what makes you so freaking special?" Well the reason I'm so damn scared of them. I clearly remember being a small child covered in band aids and dirt laughing while all manner of spiders crawled on my arms and face, shit I used to pretend that the daddy long legs in my Granddaddy's back yard where my pets. Then one day my older sister showed me a book that had scary stories in it, she has just gotten back to me with the title which is "Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark." The only thing I remember about that book and story was that a girl had a spider lay its eggs in her cheek and then one day they all hatched and there was a horrific picture to go along with that. So since that day spiders were a huge no for me. It has only gotten worse for me, when I lived in South Carolina I was convinced that the huge quarter sized spiders in my backyard where out to get me because I killed one, because every damn day there was more of them hanging around by the back door literally waiting for me to open it so the could run inside.

Ha I found the picture and the name of the story. It is called
The Red Spot. If you aren't scared of spiders now, you will be
after looking at this.

Towels. Now I'm sure you are scratching your head at this one. Well needless to say I had a horrible experience that involved a towel, me getting out of the shower and a bug being places that it should never go. Now towels are looked at with fear of what they might be hiding in their fluffy softness.

Garbage Disposals. Not that someone will turn one on while my hand is in it. . .no I'm scared it will turn its damn self on while my hand is in it. I blame this one on to many horror movies.

Basements. This one I think might not be so irrational to some people. But I grew up bouncing between my Grandparents house and my own home and both of them had the scariest basements you will ever find. My home basements door used to rattle all on it own, try being between the ages of 4 and 6 and knowing you had to go down there to help with the laundry and standing before the door as it rattled away all on its own. To make matters worse the stairs were so steep that you risked breaking your neck every time you used them and you knew damn well if what ever kept rattling the door decided to come and get you that you were never going to be able to run up them without killing yourself before whatever it was got you. Now my grandparents basement had those nice stairs that had no backing to them and it was the size of the entire house with lots and lots of creepy toys that my dad and aunts stored down there once they out grew them. My Grandad use to tell us a story about bones under the cellar steps, we loved it, but when faced with those stairs I would have swore there really was bones under them waiting for me.

Ticks. Not the kind that you get when stressed out, the ones that latch onto you and suck your blood. I clearly remember exactly how old I was when this fear developed. I was 7 and had just had the time of my life tricker treating the night before. At the time I shared a room with my second oldest sister and she was already up doing her own thing when I woke up and had a nice stretch when I realized my hand brushed against something odd. I pulled the collar of my shirt down to look at what it could have been and there it was, big and bloated on my innocent blood. Needless to say I screamed bloody murder and will never forget the look on my dads face when he ran into my room with half his face shaved and still in his boxers. All he got out of me was incoherent mumbles while I flung my hands in the general direction of the terror. So I ended up having to be held down by my sister while he used what we all called his gerber tool, that had a very sharp knife as well as other things attached to it, to dig the damn thing out of my boob. Not only was I scared to death I was mortified that my dad had to do it in the first place. I had a nice size hole there for a long time after that.

That is just to name a few of them. There are perfectly normal fears I don't have that really I should. Like being afraid of dogs, I had one attack my face as a child, but I still go to every dog I see to give it a pet and stick my face in its for a doggy kiss. Heights, I was once convinced at a young age to climb out of a second story window on bed sheets tied together. The magic words that convinced me were "they do it in cartoons." I fell before I even got half way down, only to fall two more times trying to get back up, but heights don't bother me in the slightest.

This is why I think most of the fears I have are irrational. There might be a good reason for them in my mind, but for everyone else not so much. There are many many more of them, and mostly when I look back at them I know a lot of them are from my dearly loved Grams. Most of my family has theses weird fears as well, and we laugh about them all the time, while really hoping that we will never have to confront them ever again.

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